Day 1 of Memorial Weekend and Thoughts of the Past
It is around noon right now on the Saturday of Memorial Weekend. I ought to be at the lake. The fact that I’m not there is almost comically funny at this point. If I over-analyze my situation, about the most relieving scenario I can create is that Memorial Weekend is my real punishment and that my prison sentence is mere context used to disguise the pain of me not being out on the lake right now!
So, if I was free right now what would I be doing? More than likely, I would have been out at the lake since about 10 am. And…drink 1. By this point, I’d have the boat loaded up with everything that needed to be on it including food, ice chests, clothes, and drinks. Drinks 2 and 3. There would probably be only about one or two of my friends that would have arrived at the marina because the rest of you are notoriously late. (You know who you are.) Those of us who were there would have shared a drink with at least 2 boatloads of neighbors and already met a minimum of 6 new girls in bikinis. Drink 4. From about 12:30 to 2:00 I’d send out about 100 texts trying to explain the location of the marina, the location of the boat, the gate code, the color of the boat, what time we were leaving, directions, what we still needed food and drink wise, and the fact that you shouldn’t bring ice to the lake because we would buy it at the marina. This would have been the same exact info that I had emailed out to everyone at least twice in the preceding week. This hour and a half, Andy would be frustrated. Drinks 5 and 6.
At 2:30 all 16 people have finally showed up, even though only 11 were supposed to show up. I never quite know where the extra people come from, but I love it. That’s what makes it all so fun! Drink 6 ½. (Half of it spilled.) At this point, there are enough Jello shots on board to make Bill Cosby proud, and Lynchburg, TN is actually experiencing a shortage of J.D.
Memorial Weekend has begun! Drink 7. Everyone take a shot, or the boat stays in the slip. 3:00 pm - Hello Devil’s Cove. Drink 8. 8:00pm - Goodbye Devil’s Cove. Drinks 9-20. We’ll be back early tomorrow to begin round two!
You have just experienced the hyper-abbreviated version of Memorial Weekend aboard “Silence Is Consent” in Austin, Texas. This, obviously, is the non -Tucker Max account of events. Anyone reading this letter is invited next year. Memorial Weekend 2011 will be May 28-30, 2011.
I’ve been dreading this particular weekend for a while because I genuinely miss being able to have a good time with my friends, but it won’t be too bad, maybe. I know I’ll be home this summer and still have plenty of time to make it to the lake. Who knows, maybe Labor Day will be the “new” Memorial Day. That sounds weird, I know, but I’m really reaching here and trying to be positive!
Hope all of you are going to have a good weekend!
Exercise and Chug- a- lugging on Memorial Weekend
8:15 am. It feels like I’ve already been awake for several hours, but I guess it’s actually only been a couple. In defiance of all things that are normal here in prison, we were actually let outside for recreation yesterday afternoon and this morning! I played a bunch of volleyball yesterday, and did some sprints. Damn, the sprints were rough. If I could get daily or near daily outdoor recreation here, it would really help out a huge amount on getting better in shape. I have gotten the impression from some of the officers that the officials here are trying to increase the number of times that we are allowed afternoon recreation, so I surely hope that is the case.
I don’t feel like I have much new information to share right now. After I stopped writing yesterday, I can’t remember even how I passed the time. I know I did business homework for and a half or so before going to sleep around 9 pm. I had a good night’s sleep, but I did have a weird dream. I usually don’t have dreams, (or at least I don’t remember that I do). This one was something about having an obstacle course type of race through a huge two story barber shop/ hair salon type of place and there was some homely looking girl behind me that kept banging her head on the floor. I have no clue what this all meant, but feel free to psychoanalyze it at your will!
In celebration of the second day of Memorial Weekend I am now missing on the lake, I have decided to drink 26 bottles of water to congruently represent the approximate number of drinks I’m not having on the lake. Truthfully, I wouldn’t have that many if I were really at the lake, but 26 sounded like a nice round number. So that’s what I decided to go with. I just drank bottle #11. Fifteen more sounds very painful!
These bottles contain ½ liter, or 16.9 fl. oz. of water. 1 gallon = 3.785 liters, so ½ liter = roughly 1/8 gallon, or ½ of a quart. Twenty six bottles =13 liters = roughly 3 gallons of water. That is too much water! I am going to be miserable. It is the equivalent of 36 twelve ounce cans. Is that even possible? I wonder if eating will make it easier or harder. I just drank #12. I also wonder what is for lunch because I’m already hungry. The dining hall was, for some reason, closed for breakfast this morning, so 2 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches were delivered to us as breakfast in bed. I ate one of them and I’m saving the other to have as an afternoon snack along with some Doritos. I also ate a small package of oatmeal for breakfast. Bottle #13. A pizza buffet sounds great for lunch, but I’m really going to go out on a limb and guess that will not be the menu. Once we return from lunch, I’ll let you know exactly what I ate. I think it is getting close to lunch now at about 10:30 am, so I’ll say good bye for a while. Bottle # 14.
It is 11:30 am now and I am back in the dorm from lunch. The menu consisted of a chicken patty with gravy, sweet potatoes, pinto beans, green beans, 2 slices of white bread, and water to drink. I had 2 servings of green beans, but didn’t eat the bread or drink any water. It’s going to be hard enough to finish 26 bottles as it is, so I didn’t want to drink any extra water that didn’t count towards my total. Yes, I know that sounds silly, but please understand my boredom and work with me a little.
I am sitting here talking to “Code Blue right now, and he just told me a story about the time he drank 5 gallons of water in 2 hours. He said that he ended up having to call 911 because he thought he was going to drown! Wouldn’t that be the height of all irony, if I were to drown a landlocked death on Memorial Weekend? I just hope the blog doesn’t end here and that I’ll be able to report back after my 26th bottle. Bottle # 15.
Memorial Weekend Stress Winding Down
I never did write anymore yesterday. I ended up with 18 total bottles of in about 3 ½ hours and then the water started to give me a headache that lasted the rest of the day, so I stopped. It doesn’t seem quite fair that I’d get a hangover from drinking water, but that’s pretty much what happened. Lesson learned, and I am not going to attempt it again. (But isn’t that what everyone says for alcohol, too?)
I think it’s about 9:30am and I’m at work. I got here around 7:00 am this morning. There isn’t a lot going on because of the holiday, and none of the civilian workers or the high ranking officers are in the building. Theoretically, it should be boring, but I’m pretty much enjoying the peace and quiet right now.
Thank goodness Memorial Weekend is almost over. If I can survive the next 8 hours, then I will have made it through without the Earth caving in, and the stress of missing it will be a thing of the past. How did you enjoy your long weekend? What did you do? I hope you had fun!
I am now going to say, “Welcome” to any prison officials that may now be reading with us and thanks to all of you again for all the support I’ve been afforded. I’ll talk to you again very soon.