So, for the characters in this unit…they are in no particular order other than the way our bunks are arranged in this room.
1) "Banjo" - named so because he looks like the unfortunate character in the movie “Deliverance”. (Wasn’t it Ned Beatty?) If you’ve seen the movie , you’ll understand. If not, then ask a friend. I’m not going to explain it.
2) "Mr. Clean" –because he is a spitting image of a shrunken down Mr. Clean figure.
3) "Bernie" – named after Bernie Madoff. He’s almost 70 and is in here on some type of white collar theft.
4) I’m laughing as I try to write this and the name is escaping me. What is the name of the gorilla that learned sign language? It is a female name…Oh, I just remembered. It is Koko. So, this guy will be named "Koko" because he has a funny looking gorilla tattoo on his back.
5) Next up is “Code Blue". This is one half of my Blue collar comedy duo. He is the one in here for arson. I was going to name him “Code Red” after that old fireman show from the late 70’s early 80’s , but instead, substituted “Blue” for “Red” because of his redneck look and humor.
6) “Code Blue’s” counterpart will be a name that is escaping me right now. Can someone look it up? Who is the artist that produces the pictures of the dogs playing poker? That will be this guy’s nickname. He is by far the best artist (drawing) I have met while in here. That is actually saying something, because there are some really good ones! Unfortunately, he also sort of looks like and acts like he’d be on the dog poster himself.
7) "Friday" – because he works in here as the staff barber
8) "Walmart" – because he is my only friend in here that has a job at the commissary
9) "Axel" – this is my bunkmate with the band
10) "HOA" – this is one on my “suitemates”. To explain- there are 29 sets of bunk beds in here. Most of them are arranged where 2 sets are in a little partitioned off area. Therefore, 4 people are together as “suitemates” on 2 sets of bunk beds. HOA stands for Home Owner’s Association. This guy is very funny and made a joke about all of us suitemates starting our own group in here as a homeowners association.
11) My second suitemate will be called….not sure what he will be called, yet. I have some ideas, but I’ll need to come back to it.
12) "Sketch" - is next and you know him already.
13) The “Prez” - I’m sort of reaching on this one, but here goes. This guy is probably about 60 years old. His entire life has been made up of various prison stays. He also sort of looks like John Hinkley, the guy that shot President Reagan.
14) “Jonah” - I was about to call this guy “The Disciple” because he runs around 24/7 with his Bible. On the surface, that is not a bad thing, but this guy is way too much “in your face” with it. I could possible call him “Hare Krishna”, but instead, I will refer to him as Jonah, because I wish a whale would swallow him.
15) "Hitch" – named after Alfred Hitchcock. This guy works at the law library and annoys me for no important reason. I feel the same way about the Hitchcock movies.
16) “Scrabble” – named so because I think this kook has memorized every single 2 letter word in the scrabble dictionary.
17) “Calli” – that’s his real nickname. Not sure why.
18) ”X” – named so because it seems he would have been a fitting character on the movie “American History X”.
19) “Singen” – named after the professional volleyball player, Sinjen Smith. This guy tells too many stories about the volleyball tournaments they “used to have” at his old unit the last time he was in prison.
20) “Wilson” – named after the volleyball in “Castaway”.
21) “Arkansas” – named so because he has a HUGE gorilla tattoo on his entire back. However, I think it looks like a wild boar. The school mascot for Arkansas is a Razorback Hog.
22) “GJ” – for George Jefferson. This guy has a laundry business in here. Enough said.
23) 24) You already know “Four Four” and “DZ”.
25) Lastly, there is “Ink” – always talking about tattooing.
I am certain that I’ve left off more than a handful, but I’ll let you know about more of them as they come into play.
Coming shortly, the story of “Friday”.