CURRENT STATUS

If you have any questions for Andy about the prison system, what it is like, what goes on there, or anything, please leave the question in a blog comment and Andy would be happy to answer it. It keeps him occupied and allow us to learn about the system.

Also, for his friends, he would LOVE to get pictures of anything, so if you have his address, please send them to him, or if you would like to email them to the blog editor, you can do that and he will print out the pics and mail them to him.

He is now attending the class he must take before his release, and he will mention the journal entry memo they discussed that day in class.

Even if you don't know Andy, feel free to comment on his blog entries, which he gets and will respond to.

Monday, January 25, 2010

LAST DAYS BEFORE PRISON

It has been a very long last couple of days.  It seems like Wednesday (day I go to jail) is just hovering right over my head and there is nothing I can do to make it go away.  It was enjoyable yesterday to meet some good friends and enjoy the great football games.  I had been looking forward to that all week long.  It was a pretty disturbing feeling once the last game was over and it was time to go home.  I really didn't want to tell everyone goodbye.

My emotions are all over the charts.  One minute I am ready to start serving my sentence and get all of this mess behind me and then 5 minutes go by and I can't even figure out how I'm going to get by 'till tonight.  I suppose this is "normal" for my situation, but it is definitely
nothing that I am used to or familiar with.  Also, I'm not usual the type of person that wears their feelings on their sleeve so talking and writing about my thoughts is pretty uncomfortable. 

My attention span is not very long right now so many of my blogs may be short.  I apologize for the brevity.  I suspect that they will grow in length as I become more comfortable with this.  If I use any humor that offends anyone I certainly mean no harm.  I have found that making fun of myself in this situation eases the suffering just a little.  I certainly do not take my legal problems lightly and overall there is absolutely nothing funny about them.  I guess the humor just takes the edge off every now and then.

How much does everyone want to know about the facts that bring me to this time in my life?  Is it interesting to hear about that type of thing or would it be more interesting to hear exactly how I am feeling every second?  I guess there is probably enough time to cover it all.  I'll stick to my current feelings for now.  My back story is too long and I honestly don't have the brain energy right now to even begin with it.  I think my body has put itself into 'self preservation' mode.

So how do I feel?  I don't think that 'scared' is the exact word, but it is pretty close.  Maybe 'apprehensive' to the nth degree would be a better way to put it.  I know that I want this entire situation to be totally behind me and my family, but I can not see any light at the end of the tunnel.

I will blog again shortly.  Right now I need to leave my computer to go pick up a moving trailer so that I can load up all my personal items first thing in the morning.  Seems like that would be easy enough to do doesn't it?  The thought of even walking out my front door seems overwhelming right now, but I have to make myself get going. 

Update: It's now about 6 pm on Monday night and I just started to pack up some boxes with all of my personal belongings.  It was tough to get started on it.  I feel paralyzed to the point of nearly being physically ill.  I have had a couple of friends call me or text me to ask if I wanted to go out and have some beer tonight, but I don't even have the energy to do that.  Although I am miserable I do want to take this opportunity to express my extreme gratitude for all of the awesome friends and family I have that have done everything in their power to help me out.  I feel like I have let all of them down, yet they are totally sticking by my side.  Thank you very much to anyone that has helped.  I hope to one day be able to return the kindness.

6 comments:

  1. I know it must be tough, but hang in there. I think the blog is a great idea, and we will be here to support you. Enjoy your last day tomorrow, but I know it will probably be nervewracking and you will probably just want to get on with it. Hopefully we can all keep in touch here and you and your followers can have a good learning experience from the blog. Thanks for doing it.

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  2. Just wanted to let you know that I will be following your blog. You will be ok, you can do this!
    MamaB

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  3. Hi Andy,
    I read your threads on WAP and i wish you al the best in the world.
    Iam so glad for all the support from your family and friends, i think thats very important.
    Greetings from The Netherlands
    wilma

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  4. OH Matt! I hope you have a wonderful day today - go have some crawfish!! Some restaurants are serving already (hello - Bayou City).

    The anticipation of a bad situation is usually worse than what actually happens and hopefully this is the case :) Think of all the books you can read you scholar you ;)

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  5. Hang in there brother. We all Love you and we will all be here for you when you get out. I will do all I can to support you from here. Take care my friend.

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  6. Matt, I hope you enjoy this day and try and do as much as possible even though you won't really feel like it. Everything will be OK - you are in my thoughts.

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